I had a beautiful response to my ugly old blog sent via facebook message. She said that the New Testament is God's love letter to us. How she wrote it was beautiful. Maybe if we all saw it as a love letter there would not be so much division!!
I have been blown away with progress lately. Had some pretty awesome stuff go on. Thankfully, a woman of God was on her knees praying asking God how she could help with child slavery, and that same day I was out in her driveway asking her husband if we could get our 6 year olds together to play. I love that. It gives me such hope and makes me feel like God is right there guiding my every step. I am still struggling with the little girl getting sold into slavery after she gave her life to Christ and I can't help but feel guilty. How can I feel like God is guiding my steps while she is in bondage? He did not guide her steps into bondage and it is not his will for her to be a child prostitute slave. Why would He do something like lead me to these neighbors that have been so wonderful, and not lead her to protection? It makes no sense. I feel so self centered and arrogant to claim that God did this thing for us, but not for her. Does that make sense? It is like I am saying He likes me more, and I don't believe that one bit. What am I missing?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
So I guess you have to sign in to comment or post? But when you sign in or create an account it can be anonymous.
Anyway, I want to know your thoughts on what is going on in my mind. I am struggling with the most basic truths that I have believed for the last 15 years because of observations that I am making. When I read the new testament I see it as so simple. Jesus said love me, love God, love others, be willing to die for me, do good things with yourself. Right? Simple. Just do good, be good, love God. I made the observation that Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would come to be our teacher. He never mentioned a new testament. Ok if I say that too loud in a Christian circle people would FREAK out and say that the Bible is God's word perfect and true, etc. However I see a pattern. The Old Testament was written, people studied it, memorized it, debated it, preached it, then became Pharisees who went on to kill Jesus. Then Jesus came and said that He came to fulfill the law and forgive us and send us the Holy Spirit to be our guide, right? He never said he was sending a new testament did he? Then we created the New Testament, studied it, memorized it, debated it, preached it, and now we are the new Pharisees. I know that sounds harsh to call myself a Pharisee but before you get your panties in a wad hear me out a little. Just as the Pharisees we all think we are right. The Pentecostals think they are right, Baptist think they are right, Church of Christ think they are right, Catholics think they are right, my old pastor thinks he is the only one who is right, and none can agree(the list goes on but I'm just making a point). Everyone thinks they are the one that is enlightened in the truth and only if everyone could see things the way they know them to be true. Then everyone throws scripture around to prove their point....just like they did to Christ when the woman was caught in adultery and He said he who is without sin cast the first stone. And we all claim to have the correct understanding of scriptures! Ever heard the saying the Devil is in the details. I am actually wondering if we got it all wrong when we started the whole bible study thing. I don't know. I know that sounds extreme. But it seems to eat up so much energy and resources. Some would say how can you say that studying God's word is anything but what we are supposed to do. But...have we gone overboard? We have an average of four bibles per American household when there are thousands of languages that do not have a single copy of God's word. We are obsessed with the word. We spend more money on bible studies then we spend on taking the Gospel to the world. If the Bible was meant to be the cornerstone of our faith, then why did Jesus not say, after three days I will rise again, then my disciples are going to write letters to churches because the churches are going to screw everything up, then, you are going to collect these letters and fight over their meanings. Then you are going to split up the believers based on beliefs of what the letters say, and you are going to spend billions of dollars on writing books and studying these letters. Then whenever you want to put God's stamp of approval on something you are going to search the letters for a quote that agrees with what you are saying. And be careful, because you are the only one who is going to be right and don't listen to anyone that disagrees because they are clearly hearing from the devil. You are the one with the Holy Spirit and clearly You are the smart one with such a pure heart that only you can hear my voice.(Don't even tell me you have not thought this as some point in your life!) I think what Jesus was actually saying was shut the h e double hockey pucks up and go do some good. Uggg....I don't know. I just don't understand why if God intended the New Testament to have the authority and weight that it has today in the church, then why didn't Jesus just hand it to us and say...here you go, the play book. And yes that would be God's character because that is how He did the 10 commandments. Ohhh.....I would be kicked out of so many churches for even asking this.
Anyway, I want to know your thoughts on what is going on in my mind. I am struggling with the most basic truths that I have believed for the last 15 years because of observations that I am making. When I read the new testament I see it as so simple. Jesus said love me, love God, love others, be willing to die for me, do good things with yourself. Right? Simple. Just do good, be good, love God. I made the observation that Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would come to be our teacher. He never mentioned a new testament. Ok if I say that too loud in a Christian circle people would FREAK out and say that the Bible is God's word perfect and true, etc. However I see a pattern. The Old Testament was written, people studied it, memorized it, debated it, preached it, then became Pharisees who went on to kill Jesus. Then Jesus came and said that He came to fulfill the law and forgive us and send us the Holy Spirit to be our guide, right? He never said he was sending a new testament did he? Then we created the New Testament, studied it, memorized it, debated it, preached it, and now we are the new Pharisees. I know that sounds harsh to call myself a Pharisee but before you get your panties in a wad hear me out a little. Just as the Pharisees we all think we are right. The Pentecostals think they are right, Baptist think they are right, Church of Christ think they are right, Catholics think they are right, my old pastor thinks he is the only one who is right, and none can agree(the list goes on but I'm just making a point). Everyone thinks they are the one that is enlightened in the truth and only if everyone could see things the way they know them to be true. Then everyone throws scripture around to prove their point....just like they did to Christ when the woman was caught in adultery and He said he who is without sin cast the first stone. And we all claim to have the correct understanding of scriptures! Ever heard the saying the Devil is in the details. I am actually wondering if we got it all wrong when we started the whole bible study thing. I don't know. I know that sounds extreme. But it seems to eat up so much energy and resources. Some would say how can you say that studying God's word is anything but what we are supposed to do. But...have we gone overboard? We have an average of four bibles per American household when there are thousands of languages that do not have a single copy of God's word. We are obsessed with the word. We spend more money on bible studies then we spend on taking the Gospel to the world. If the Bible was meant to be the cornerstone of our faith, then why did Jesus not say, after three days I will rise again, then my disciples are going to write letters to churches because the churches are going to screw everything up, then, you are going to collect these letters and fight over their meanings. Then you are going to split up the believers based on beliefs of what the letters say, and you are going to spend billions of dollars on writing books and studying these letters. Then whenever you want to put God's stamp of approval on something you are going to search the letters for a quote that agrees with what you are saying. And be careful, because you are the only one who is going to be right and don't listen to anyone that disagrees because they are clearly hearing from the devil. You are the one with the Holy Spirit and clearly You are the smart one with such a pure heart that only you can hear my voice.(Don't even tell me you have not thought this as some point in your life!) I think what Jesus was actually saying was shut the h e double hockey pucks up and go do some good. Uggg....I don't know. I just don't understand why if God intended the New Testament to have the authority and weight that it has today in the church, then why didn't Jesus just hand it to us and say...here you go, the play book. And yes that would be God's character because that is how He did the 10 commandments. Ohhh.....I would be kicked out of so many churches for even asking this.
Friday, March 26, 2010
trying to figure this out
I've never done this before. Not sure how the whole blogging thing works. Guess I'll learn along the way, but that is ok because I am among friend. Incase you are wondering why I did not want my name on here it is because I am paranoid right now for many reasons. First of all I am paranoid because I have to worry about what supporting churches think of me. I had a pastor tell me that I can not tell the truth about everything because it will cause churches to drop our support. For example, if I say that I believe someone was healed I could be dropped by a church that does not believe in miracles...etc. I need a place that I can talk to people with out the worry of offending a supporting church. That is why I did not want my name on here. You obviously know who I am, but I am asking that this remains private between us so that I don't have to be paranoid about who is reading it. Other reasons are leaving a trail on the internet that can be followed by the mafia that we have the potential of pissing off in the future....see, I said pissing and I did not care if that word offended you...hahaha. If any of you know a better way of doing this let me know. I am so computer illiterate. I am cool about you inviting people that you trust, but right now I would prefer no one else from our old church in the country...aka you know who... if you don't mind. Again, that sounds horrible, but I am healing from some hurts from there right now and again, don't want to worry about anything getting back to them. They are a reference for us for other supporting churches. So...what is on your mind?
Let's Be Real
I find myself right now away from close relationships that took years to build. I just feel like I need a place to talk and be real with out worrying who is looking or listening. I am not even going to use my name on this, and you don't have to either. I think so many of us are holding secrets that we are too afraid to talk about in Christian circles. I need a place that I can pour my heart out and not be judged for what I am feeling. I know after reading a book written by a friend that she was suffering so deeply, and I did not know it. So I had the idea of creating this blog for a group of christians that will listen and talk freely without the worry of what others are going to think. Let's pray for each other and encourage each other to grow.
Much Love,
Me
Much Love,
Me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)